Community Speed Patrol

I hate Gatso cameras, that is well known to the majority of the readers of my blog, I have had several rants about them in the past. One of the reasons for being pissed off is that the government recently scrapped a study into the effectiveness of speed cameras, and as the research looked like revealing that speed cameras were not effective in reducing casualties and fatalities the government decided to bin the findings. Want to know more Shuffle over here, and sign the petition. One of the things that seriously pisses me off though is the rabid anti speed hobbyists.

Outside my house the other night a group of octogenarian anti-car rabid dogs were being taught by the Surrey Police to use speed detecting hair dryers. Now one of my biggest issues is that these people weren’t ordinary bods who want to reduce the deaths on the road, they are seriously car-hating loons. Whilst they were outside in the street, I heard repeatedly, “here comes another bloody one” referring to a car that was moving well within the speed limit towards them. To be honest 20 decrepit old farts and two police officers in Day-Glo jackets is enough to make sure that anyone doesn’t go speeding past. These aged old twats are, what as is know in the police trade as, Community Speed Watch Volunteers. The Police Officers that I know treat them mainly with contempt, but as it saves them standing in some piss-hole estate in the pissing rain, they tolerate them.

Anyway, by the time they had swung the 80 year old bint around with the hairdryer to point it in vaguely the right direction of the car, the car was no longer there. To be honest the way that the daft old prats where waving the speed detector around, if it had been a MAC-10 I would have lost the roof off the house and the church over the road would have been minus a steeple. Seeing as Speed Cameras actually have relatively little effect on deaths on the road, I expect this to change, with all of the Old Farts out there waving speed detectors around I expect the rate to increase, due to the doddery on bastards falling in front of traffic, having heart attacks because of the excitement of pointing hairdryers at cars, and belligerent bastards like me swerving to scare them to death. Seeing as I had nothing better to do today I thought I would investigate some of Surrey Police’s records on speeding motorists and the number of accidents they may have caused. It made pretty enlightening reading. From their own 2006 report, the 5 main contributory factors in most fatal or serious injury accidents were as follows:

Reason % Fatal %Serious Injury
Wrong course/positioning
No apparent cause
Too fast for conditions
Crossing road, heedless of traffic
Exceeded speed limit

You will notice that exceeding the speed limit was a contributory factor in 6% of fatal accidents and 5.4% in Serious Injury Accidents. So when nearly 30% of all accidents are caused by crap driving, 20 % no known cause and incompetent pedestrians crossing the road without looking adding another 10% why target the driver who may be a little over the speed limit. What I would like to know, and their figures do not include it is where exceeding the speed limit and another factor for example drink/drug related offences have combined, I suspect that the number of KSI (Killed, Seriously Injured) Speed related “Only” would drop further.

Brat-ney Spears Creative Moment

Britney Spears is doing the usual celebrity bullshit, why can’t they just apologise, why make up some cock and bull story as well, it does nothing for their credibility, not that Britney Spears has any anyway.

From her website: “I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a role in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my roles very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.” Underneath the statement she says “You’ll never see it my way, because you’re not me” Which translates into: I am lying, because that is what I do.

Terrorist Alert Status

Why does it not surprise me that the terrorist alert status was dropped back to it’s pre-Friday status today? Despite all the usual bollox coming out of the House of Commons that the status was set by Joint Terrorist Analysis Centre (JTAC) and only influenced by ACTUAL intelligence concerning the likely risk of an attack, it just shows that, JTAC either knee jerk worse than an epileptic spastic in a magnet factory or Gordon Brown hand his sticky fingers involved.

Actually Gordon Brown proved today that his running the economy was more luck than judgement as he revealed he can’t count claiming that he had only been Prime Minister for 5 days rather than a week that he has served during Prime Minister’s Question Time. Oh how we laughed at the jock twat.

One other thing that made me laugh just after the weekends events was a senior Strathclyde Police officer saying in a live press conference “Actually we have no intelligence” Oh how we cried!!

I was out door stepping today, drank 2 litres of water, oh how we pissed!
So today has been a good day, I have cried and pissed myself laughing….. ‘

Bloody Old Bill

This happened to me a little while back but it still makes my blood boil. I am fundamentally hacked off with coppers that don’t know the law. I was with two other snappers, a reporter and a motor biker on a job in a village in Sussex. So three cars and a motorbike in a village where they probably only ever see two cars a day, yet alone a convoy. We were doing a reccy prior to waiting for our target to show up and whilst we could have probably been a little more discrete, the place were the target was due to appear was opposite the village pub.

Continue reading

ohh how the mighty have fallen..

There are just some things that make me smile, and today I have been smiling almost none stop. What is it? You may ask. Probably the thing that made me smile widest and longest was the fact that John Prescott was stripped of office, but he can keep his title.

Well no one else would really want to have any of his titles, two shags, two jags or two jabs. So the position of deputy prime minister is a lame duck, it’s office has no power, it’s holder has no talent. Prezzer’s career is effectively over, now I am just waiting for it to actually be over. Strip him of his grace and favour London home, reduce his pension, why should he have a great pension scheme when he hasn’t worked for it.

Continue reading

The week that was..

The week that saw John Prescott branded “Two Shags”, Alan Clarke’s incompetence revealed, and Chelsea confirmed as Premiership Champions, also saw Pete Doherty re-arrested for drug related offences. Ok seldom does a week go by without Doherty getting nicked for yet another transgression of the law. But this is most likely to be the one that gets him imprisoned. But Doherty’s inability to live life by the rules that most decent human beings abide by saw me spending most of Saturday at the Love Music Hate Racism gig in Trafalgar Square.

Probably not the place I would have chosen to spend 10 hours hanging around, especially when some of the bands were playing. However the audience seems to enjoy it. I still can’t get my head around some the Rap bands that were playing, they take someone-else’s well-written and performed music and shout over the top of it.

Continue reading

I hate Gatsos

I really, really hate gatso cameras, admittedly I have never had a speeding ticket from a Gatso, I just dislike the fact that they are not capable of making a decision based upon all of the facts, you speed, you get a FPN and three points or more. At least a police officer is able to use his discretion. I had a prime example today, I was leaving my home at the crack of dawn, and then some. The weather was fine and the roads dry.

Continue reading

Jesus Wept….

How out of touch with reality are the Church of England and it’s followers? Easter Sunday is the last day of the year (except Christmas Day) that retailers are not allowed to open. The Archbishop of London was on TV and in the face of all the evidence said, “Nobody wants the shops to open on Easter Sunday” Well, you genius! So retailers are nobody? So I am nobody? The 40% of the population that use retailers on a Sunday are nobody?

Ever felt the need to grab some milk, bacon, eggs, the Sunday Papers, on a Sunday? Then you too are guilty in the eyes of the church of not treating Sunday with due reverence.

Easter is special only to religious people, to everyone who live in the real world; it is just another bank holiday. Some twat is claiming that the lives of people are being ruined by opening shops on Sundays, now I appreciate that shop workers may get a bit of a bum deal, but ruining lives on the basis of one day, get real.
Continue reading