Lee Hurst in trouble

lee-hurst-at-court-ppuk002Today, was spent mostly standing in the cold at Guildford Magistrates Court waiting for comedian Lee Hurst, who was in trouble because he is alleged to have got fed up with someone videoing his performance at the Stoke Hotel Pub in Guildford. Unfortunately for Lee, it seems that his case isn’t going to be heard today as there is only one court in action, and loads of cases to be dealt with. It has to be said that he was in good form and as I have said before it is a pleasure to work with a professional that knows we will get our pictures anyway, so may as well front up.
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Sponsor Me, Please?

I’m going to be taking part in a charity bike ride to raise funds for Mute Tourette’s Syndrome. A friend of mine has a 6 yr old son that suffers from this and we are raising funds to pay for a year’s therapy.

Mute Tourette’s Syndrome has long been in the shadow of its more ‘famous’ sister-disease, ‘Tourette’s Syndrome’, and although much rarer, is even more tragic in its consequences.
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Court Again

chief-police-officer-at-court-ppuk002I seem to spend more time at court than anywhere else. Today was a court snatch of a Chief Special Constable from Hampshire that was charged with two counts of theft and one of false accounting. Even stopped for a few words, on the surface seems like a nice chap, who vehemently denies the allegations. He has opted for a Crown Court Trial, so likley that he will be back on the blog in a month or two.

Job Jobbed.

From my caption

From Paul Burgman/PressPhotosUK.com 22nd December 2008. Former Hampshire Chief Special Constable Satbir Giany at Guidlford Magistrates Court Today, charged with two counts of theft and one of false accounting stealing nearly £1600 from his employer Euro Car Parts of Portsmouth. Satbir, who was made an MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours, and hailed as the “face of policing” resigned from his position as the most senior Special Constable in the Hampshire Force the day after the charges were made.

Mr Giany vehemently denies any of the allegations and has opted for a jury trial at crown court.
Paul Burgman t:075 88 66 95 80. e: paul[AT]PressPhotosUK.com

Feck Off!

feckoffThe ASA (Advertising Standards Authority not the Amateur Swimming Association) have displayed an unusual degree of commonsense for a change and not banned an advert that uses the words “feck off” .

This from the same ASA that banned a Marmite advert after 6 (Yes Six) Complaints because :

Adverts featuring a huge blob of Marmite left children “terrified” and suffering nightmares, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has revealed.
The TV adverts show scenes reminiscent of 1950s science fiction film The Blob.

Six viewers complained that their children, aged between two and three, had been terrified by the commercials.

These twats also banned a beer advert because it is alleged to have implied that Alcohol and Success are linked. Which strikes me as slightly wierd as alcohol producers tend to be very successful, So successful that the Government charge huge levies and duty on alcohol

The Young’s Bitter billboard poster of a man with a ram’s head surrounded by scantily clad women, had the strap line “This is a Ram’s World”.

The Advertising Standards Authority said it and a second Young’s poster breached rules introduced on October 1 last year and they should be withdrawn.

Young’s denied implying drinking its beer led to sexual or social success.

What a Wanker!

big-tomReported in the news today, in a variety of places was a story about some arsehole, who killed two people whilst giving himself a hand-shandy and simultaneously driving at 120 mph. The Onanist, called Imran Hussain was jailed for 8 years at Manchester Crown Court, well I guess he will have plenty of time to wank himself to death.

There were a couple of amusing quotes from the case now baring in mind after the accident, the first ones on the scene offering help (not that kind of help) said that Hussein’s erect penis was exposed.

Judge Andrew Blake told him: “At the least it must have been a symptom you were not giving your full attention to driving.”

After unsuccessfully calling an escort agency, it appears that he took matters into his own hands

His attempts to contact the agency and the finding of him with an erect penis out of his trousers indicates that he was sexually excited and clearly handling his penis whilst he was driving and at the time of the collision.

Plain Stoopid more like…

BBC News 24 Screen Grab

BBC News 24 Screen Grab

You have got to laugh, especially when the ecomentalists choose silly names for their “action” groups. The silliest of all has to be Plane Stupid. If I was an ecowarrior, I don’t think that I would want to appear on TV with the words Plane Stupid under my name, even if I am.

What really pisses me off is the fact that these retards, who should be out protesting about sensible issues, such as the rising costs of education, the state of the economy and stealth taxation, is that whilst I have to queue for 2 hours in an airport to board a flight, these ecotards can simply walk through a security fence and cause an airport to shut down more effectively than a couple of muslims in a 4×4.

The second thing that pisses me off, is that Ryan Air, who cancelled 57 flights, leaving something like 3000 passengers stranded, is telling them to go home and book another flight. Accepting no responsiblilty to ensure that their paying customers get to their destinations.

I am not sure who the biggest bunch of tossers are, Ryan Air or Plane Stupid

Doesn’t seem that long since I last had a rant about Airport Security See Here

Simon Cowell Bugger!

Pics of Simon Cowell shopping in Sloane Street, West London.

Pics of Simon Cowell shopping in Sloane Street, West London.

It was recently reported that Simon Cowell had found a bug attached to one of his cars, and that it may not be the security services that planted it, in fact I am fairly certain that it would be a member of the media community.

These devices are freely available and as long as they are used with a pay as you go sim with no details recorded as to who it was owned by, and also assuming that the finger prints of anyone that touched it are not known to the plod, they will be unlikely to find out who it was.

These trackers are freely available in the UK. There are several retailers that will everything required. It is basically a datacard with a power supply. You can dial the tracker and using software on your p.c. or a web-based mapping service see where the tracker is, in real time.

I am not sure what offence may be being committed by the placement of a tracker on a third party’s vehicle may be, but I understand that Simon Cowell is a little put out by the situation, and with his wealth he is probably the last person that you’d want chasing after you with his legal team.

Simon Cowell has been caught out in the past on assignations and it would not surprise me if that was what the person who planted the device was after. It could also have been placed by a Private Investigator, as they are known to use them, maybe he has slept with somebody’s wife that he shouldn’t have.

If you want to buy one here you go http://www.spyequipmentuk.co.uk/tracking-devices/gsm-tracking/gsm-tracker-bug.html