Am I American? Do I look American? Do I sound American? No, I don’t think so. I went in to Subway to day, I was “Hank Marvin” So I ordered a Roast Beef and Red Onion Sub. After Ordering three times because the members of staff simply stopped doing what they were supposed to be doing and wandering off, I eventually managed to persuade someone that I was actually in a hurry.
They made up the “Sub” and then asked would I “like it toasted with Cheese?” Why on earth would I want a lump of cheese whacked on my Roast Beef and Red Onion Bap, and then have it toasted? In the US, it seems that almost everything is served with added cheese, but I am not in America, I am in Guildford. And I am not a fan of American Cheese, either the dairy product or the Britney Spears Pop Product.
To quote the Accidental Hedonist on American Cheese:
American Cheese is not really based off of taste as much as texture. American Cheese holds together very well and melts into a gooey blancmange. It’s why we tend to use the cheese on burgers and other heated sandwiches: because it adds a gooey texture to the sandwich that we find palatable. The taste? Meh. We Americans don’t care how the cheese tastes so much as long as it gives us a good mouth feel. That’s why Kraft has a multi-million dollar cheese product line, instead of being a laughing stock of cheese-eaters everywhere.
Some American Cheese “makers” add so many items to their American Cheeses that they can no longer call it “Cheese”. In its place we get items like Cheeze Whiz and Velveeta. These products are sold as “cheese food”, “cheese spread”, or “cheese product”, depending primarily on the amount of cheese, moisture, and milk fat present in the final product.
So, rather than ask “What is American Cheese?”, one would get a quicker answer from the missive “What isn’t American Cheese?” to which one would reply “It isn’t cheese”. It is, however, a non-standardized cheese-variant popular more for its texture than taste.
Oh, and it’s orange, only because we Americans think cheese should be orange. But that’s another story for later.