There aren’t many things I hate….

Life is to short for hatred, and to be honest, most things are simply not worth the stress and effort required to be truly hated……. except Traffic Wardens, not just any Traffic Warden, but the Traffic Wardens specifically employed by the London Borough of Camden.

Firstly most of the ignorant f*ckers can’t or won’t speak English, certainly not any form of English as I understand it. Secondly, there is no application of common sense; all they want to do is issue tickets.

I parked up in Museum Street today, and had only a couple of quid in change, so I put it in a pay and display machine and displayed the ticket. I went for a Coffee and a browse in Aperture Photographic, and got some more pound coins. I get back to the car and within seconds a Twat arrives and says that he is going to issue a parking ticket because the original ticket had expired, although there is a two hour limit and I had parked for 20 minutes. I had subsequently paid for another 1 1/2 hours parking. Yet this f*cking warden wouldn’t listen to reason. He claimed that it was feeding the meter. So if I had parked up and walked off to get change and then come back, what would have happened? He’d have given me a ticket.

Clearly to visit London today, you have to: Carry £40 of pound coins, Pay £8 Congestion Charges and carry a F*cking Baseball Bat to twat these evil f*ckers.* Because after they have given you a ticket these retards will then bugger off for Breakfast and park illegally with impunity. If you can’t bring yourself to baseball bat them, then have a go at their illegally parked vans.

Camden Borough seriously need to review who they employ as traffic wardens and how they employ them. Traffic wardens should not be bounty-paid tax collectors, as they are at present, but facilitators of traffic movement, as they once were.

Another thought concerns the daylight robbery nature of clamping and towing-away of cars. Someone should test this point in court, for it is arguably a grossly disproportionate response to someone’s overstaying a parking meter to have the delay, loss of earnings, inconvenience, fine and release fee – all of it amounting to a considerable charge – for so minor a matter. In much the same way as the Bank Charges have been contested and the Banks are trying to settle cases out of court to prevent a precedent being set.

Whilst I am having a rant about things in London, the other thing that seriously pisses me off is bus drivers. They have their own dedicated lanes, specifically to make their journey around town quicker and easier. So why don’t the twats stick in them. This one overtook the bus in the lane, pulled in at the next stop, and then the bus he had passed pulled out to overtake back. Absolutely f*cking pointless, in the meantime, there are queues of cars being held up by these retarded imbeciles.

* Just a footnote to say I do not condone violence in any form, except when it is violence visited upon a scummy twat of a traffic warden. Then it should be extremely violent, extremely bloody and enjoyed by all, so if you wish to post a link to your happy slapping video please feel free (Like this one).**

** Obviously this is a joke, probably not a very good one, so sue me. No links please.

Isn’t it strange that Press Photographer is an anagram of

4 thoughts on “There aren’t many things I hate….

  1. Trouble with traffic wardens is they are all on a commission pay in this day and age. They have to attend training seminars where they are told to issue tickets, some firms even paying bonusses to those that issue the most. One of the emergency drivers at the hospital I work at was telling us that they even ticket emergency vehicles in this day and age.. I think there was an article on BBC news website about the event last year. I think its healthy to hate certain people 😉

  2. You are right, there was a lot of noise about Wardens ticketing ambulances outside Great Ormond Street Hospital (GOSH). They are as far as I am aware they are still at it. Turn up at 8.25 in the morning an the road is full of ambulances, as soon as it turns 8.30 and the Rabid Wardens are let loose, they are off like the proverbial robbers dog.

    Isn’t it strange how Wardens has the same number of letters as W*nkers!

  3. I saw a BBC documentary about them, they ticketed a smashed up moped on a pavement whilst the owner was being dealt with by an ambulance crew.

    It’s not just London, the ones in Birmingham are just as inept, they also have a number of lift up trucks driving around with both the driver and passenger always on the look out for something to remove (I assume Camden has a large fleet as well).

  4. Here, here to all of this. They are scum. But here’s another thing – in Cambridge, as in a few other cities, the traffic wardens are employed by Legion Parking. This company is, in turn, owned by the Royal British Legion. This means that the charity supporting those who fought Hitler is paying spiteful, mean spirited jobsworths to give out tickets. I think if people knew this they would boycott the poppy appeal. I am going to write to the Legion and threaten a campaign until they shut down Legion Parking. If enough people joined in, it would work.

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