Phobias, Brilliant!

_pfs4826Being the child that I am (to be honest most blokes are the same) I found the quote in Blackadder, where Doctor Johnson is seeking patronage for his Dictionary from the Prince Regent hits the mark. If you don’t know it I shall repeat it below:

Dr. Johnson: Sir! I hope you are not using the first English dictionary to look up rude words!
Edmund: I wouldn’t be too hopeful. That’s what all the other ones will be used for.

When a collegue posted this Link to a list of all the phobias that some chap had recorded and then published on the web, I thought rather than you having to trawl through the hundreds of entries that I knew you would go looking for I would save you the effort and include some of them here.

Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Ancraophobia– Fear of wind.
Anuptaphobia– Fear of staying single.
Cacophobia– Fear of ugliness.
Coitophobia– Fear of coitus.
Contreltophobia– Fear of sexual abuse.
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia – Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
Defecaloesiophobia– Fear of painful bowels movements.
Eurotophobia– Fear of female genitalia.
Francophobia– Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia)
Genophobia– Fear of sex.
Gymnophobia– Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia– Fear of women.
Heterophobia– Fear of the opposite sex. (Sexophobia)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia– Fear of long words.
Homophobia– Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Kolpophobia– Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Medorthophobia– Fear of an erect penis.
Merinthophobia– Fear of being bound or tied up.
Novercaphobia– Fear of your step-mother.
Nudophobia– Fear of nudity.
Oneirogmophobia– Fear of wet dreams.
Phallophobia– Fear of a penis, esp erect.
Rectophobia– Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
Scatophobia- Fear of fecal matter.
Sesquipedalophobia– Fear of long words.
Soceraphobia– Fear of parents-in-law.
Venustraphobia– Fear of beautiful women.

There are a few that I would have liked to seen included with the list including:

Ohmygodophobia– Fear of publishing something on the internet before it is Spell and Grammar Checked
Whatthef*ckOphobia The fear of waking up in the morning with a fat munter asleep on your arm.
Wherethef*ckophobiaFear of waking up in a house/room you don’t recognise whilst nursing a hangover
shitshitshitophobia,- Fear that your mates saw the fat munter that you left the nightclub with, and it wasn’t a Pull-a-Pig night.

Anyhow, my divorce is proceeding, rather more slowly than I would hope, but hey you can’t have everything. I saw the Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Mans Chest the other day and there was a terrific quote, which I shall include here, if for no other reason than to annoy the ex-wife.

“Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?” Captain Jack Sparrow

Adiós, Muchachos

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