Sunday, Bloody Sunday, Drivers

I swear it gets worse. It used to be Sundays. Now it is Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday that the twats take to the road. I know that this weekend is a Bank Holiday, but it is getting worse on regular weekends as well.

What is it with the shit drivers? They don’t drive all week and get in to the car on a Friday afternoon or Saturday Morning, they shouldn’t have driving licences yet alone cars. They stop at traffic lights and fall asleep or else they forget where they left the gear lever, hand brake and the accelorator.

Traffic lights are increasingly set to favour the pedestrians, which means that there is less time on green and more on red, so when you get a dozy retard sleeping at the lights, instead of 7 or 8 cars getting through, one aging twat in his Rover 45 gets through before another 6 minute wait on red.

Whilst Ken Livingston is responsible for much of the traffic moving so slowly in London, the rest is down to the twonk in the beige Rover.

Driving into London yesterday some dozy retard on the main A30, in a 50 mph stretch, with nothing but him on the road and 15 cars behind decides he is going to stop to let someone pull out on the main road. You twat, forcing me to brake from 50mph to a stand-still to let some even slower moving twat pull out in front.

A few weeks ago I was in Chiswick on a Sunday Morning at a traffic light controlled junction, some dozy twat, in a white Triumph Herald loses his temper because he can’t read road signs (he probably cant even read) there are two lanes, at the traffic lights, both are turn right lanes, with the left hand lane also a turn left option.

We are all turning right, he takes the right hand lane, I take the left hand lane, the lights change green, and I pull away smartly (after all 4.7 litres, 265bhp,and a 0-60 in 7 and a bit seconds), and turn right, he dawdles away from the lights (1200cc and 45bhp and 33 seconds to 60mph) as we straighten and procede down the A4, he is flashing his lights and and sounding his horn and gesturing, he then gets his phone camera out, and with both hands off the wheel, tries to take pictures, so as there is nothing else on the road, I stop the car, and get out to talk to him, like a big girls blouse, he shuts his windows and locks the doors, arsehole! he also calls the police, well they never showed up at home, so they probably told him he was a twat.

Anyway heading back from London, tonight, some dozy twat races out of the M25/M3 junction, switches three lanes right across the front of me, whilst I am doing 80ish mph, he is only doing 50mph, it turns out he also has three kids in the car, none of them strapped in, he was lucky that I was aware that he was driving like a twat and braked hard to avoid him, when given a flash of the headlights (as specified in the Highway Code, to warn others of your presence) he starts having an epileptic fit, well I assume that is what happened, (photo-epilepsy is horrible) all of a sudden he starts jerking about in his seat, turning around to face me, screaming and shouting. However despite all is violent jerking and gesturing he didnt want to pull over and chat about it.

Just a word of warning to any twats out there that this might seem familiar to, if you pull out in front of a 2 1/2 tonne car, travelling thirty miles an hour faster than you, and you get clipped, it will be you that flies off into the countryside not me.


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