Chavy Twat (or White Van Man)

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I was out on a door step recently with a couple of other snappers when the usual shout comes from the twat in a white van, ‘get a proper job!’ is the usual shout, along with ‘why don’t you leave them alone’ or just general abuse. We also regularly get the ‘Diana Killer’ shite as well from members of the public. (I have my own theories about that and will probably post that here one day).

It makes me chuckle, like a lot, when white van man, who has a copy of The Sun rolled up on the dash board and his fat chavy wife is sitting at home nose deep into Hello Magazine, that he should shout at us ‘to get a proper job’.

I have to ask, is being a white van driver a proper job? I don’t believe so, Nobody, BUT nobody after the age of about 6 years old, plans on being a Van Driver. Some will aspire to being a long distance lorry driver, some will want to be a train driver and others will want to be a spaceman. BUT NOBODY wants to be a van driver.

What is a van driver? It is a twat who can’t pass his HGV driving test, it is someone that would probably like to be a chauffeur but can’t speak English well enough to communicate with posh clients. He is likely to be educationally challenged (which is why he reads The Sun and the Daily Sport) He is likely to be overweight and he is also likely to smoke. He is also likely to be paid a pittance. ‘If by a man’s work shall you know him, then you are a steaming great pile of horse manure’ to quote from Black Adder IV.

Whereas, Press Photographers tend to have qualifications, most photographers are introduced to photography as children, which means they probably have a middle class background (Indicated by the fact that they have a hobby rather than a playstation, or hanging out on street corners) they tend to work long hours and cover great distances, both on foot, in cars and on planes, we tend to be fit (or fit-ish) and for our efforts we are well paid.

So mister white van driver, I suggest that it is you that needs to get a ‘proper job’ and that you stop buying the Sun and the Daily Sport and subscribe to a slightly higher brow paper, that doesn’t use the pictures that you don’t like us taking. And most of all Mister White Van Driver I suggest that you shut the f*ck up, keep your eyes on the road and concentrate on keeping your crappy little job.

I like sweeping generalisations, which this entry contains, you may not, if you don’t like it, I suggest that you leave this website and find your entertainment elsewhere.

TTFN

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One thought on “Chavy Twat (or White Van Man)

  1. Pingback: » Blog Archive » Deluded Joe Public

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